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The Love Food Podcast

Keto. Paleo. Vegan. Do this not that. None work yet still trying? Now what? Eating is getting too stuffy and complicated. Throw open your windows to allow a new stream of health, wellness, and peace. Time to examine your dusty food belief knick-knacks. What if you could write a letter to food? Pen to paper, you hash out the love/hate relationship and food’s undeserving power. Details go back years, to your first childhood diet trying to fit in. How you relate to food chronicles many of your life’s ups and downs. In this letter, you examine your dusty food beliefs and wonder which go in the trash, are for others, and which remain in your heart. What if you wrote this all down and food wrote you back? This is Love, Food. Food behavior expert and host, Julie Duffy Dillon is rolling up her sleeves to get to the bottom of what is really healthy. This award-winning dietitian seen on TLC’s My Big Fat Fabulous Life has a secret: food is not your enemy and your body is tired of the constant attacks. She will partner with you on your Food Peace™ journey. Show topics include: *emotional eating *intuitive eating *anti-diet *binge eating *orthorexia *body image *eating disorders *dieting *parenting and food *healthy eating *stress eating *food addiction *mindful eating *non diet approaches Pull up a chair to your dusty kitchen table and set it for a meal. Ask food to sit alongside you and chat over coffee. Or a margarita. You have some reconnecting to do. In that connection is Love, Food. In that conversation is health and peace.
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Now displaying: March, 2019
Mar 26, 2019

Ever listen to how kids and teens speak about their bodies? Have you overheard kids teasing a person because how their body looks? Wonder how young people already know those crappy diet rules? Let's be a part of the culture change to give access to Food Peace™ to all bodies! Listen to the latest Love Food Podcast as I give my top 5 ways to promote Food Peace in the classroom.

Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds.

This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peaceand Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

thirdwheelEDis a social media advocacy platform that raises awareness of eating disorders in LGBTQ+ communities. Started by a queer couple whose writing addresses the intersectionality of eating disorders and body image, including gender dysphoria; a queer identity; trauma; and gender identity and expression, CJ and OJ provide a dual perspective of eating disorder recovery through the lens of a nonbinary person in recovery and of a nontraditional family carer, who just happens to also be a registered dietitian! CJ and OJ would love to work with eating disorder professionals on cultivating inclusive treatment for eating disorders in LGBTQ+ communities and are available to discuss training, webinars, and speaking engagements. You can follow them on instagram, facebook, and twitter @thirdwheeled or email them at info@thirdwheeled.com.

This episode's Dear Food letter:

Dear Food,

Since I was diagnosed with an eating disorder over 4 years ago, our relationship went from one of anger and neglect, to one of cautious optimism. Over years of intensive work, I have slowly regained trust in both you, as well as my body’s ability to use you. Rather that defining your existence by calories, weights, and other numbers, I now see you something to be valued in your entirety. I enjoy you in social events and gatherings, as well as on my own. I’m not longer shackled by the rules that I thought I needed in order to be safe. While I am still learning to appreciate the body you gave me, I have fallen head over heels in love with the life you have allowed me to live. I never would have believed that our relationship could evolve into what it is today, and for that, I am grateful.

My question, Food, is how do I talk about you with others? I’m thinking specifically, with regards to my work. I currently work as a reading specialist at a school for kids with learning differences. My students seem to have a lot of questions about food. They comment on what they are eating as well as what I am eating. Since my work is all one-on-one, I have a lot of time to address their concerns head-on. I only have 7 students per year, and I get to know them very well. They are in middle school and high school. I want to let them know, Food, that you are safe and can be enjoyed. They don’t need to fear you like I used to. However, I don’t want to go against messages their parents’ may be sending them. If their parents tell them certain foods are off-limits, I feel like I can't say otherwise. I tread a fine line as an educator between teaching my students what I think is true, and going against messages they may be receiving at home. Further, because this issue is so near to my heart, I find myself struggle when I hear my students agonizing over food choices. I want to help them, but I’m not sure if I would be overstepping. I don’t want to cross that boundary, especially because I do know that I have emotional investmentment, and somewhat biased opinion on the topic. I also recognize that I'm not always 100% equipped to talk about you, and I need to protect my own well-being.

I guess my question for you is, to what degree can and should I bring my knowledge of food peace to my role as an educator? How can I talk about you in a way that feels comfortable to me and does not overstep boundaries?

Signed,

Teaching and learning

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Mar 19, 2019

What does your partner think about you moving away from diets? Are they cheering you on? Or admitting they wish you were pursuing weight loss? I wish this didn't matter yet getting support from those around you helps your Food Peace™ journey. What do you do when the closest people reject body respect and acceptance? Listen to the latest Love Food podcast and hear from Dr. Jillian Murphy. We hope it helps you pave your way forward.

Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds.

This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peaceand Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how. Get 30% off using the coupon code 'lovefood' at check out through the month of February 2019.

thirdwheelEDis a social media advocacy platform that raises awareness of eating disorders in LGBTQ+ communities. Started by a queer couple whose writing addresses the intersectionality of eating disorders and body image, including gender dysphoria; a queer identity; trauma; and gender identity and expression, CJ and OJ provide a dual perspective of eating disorder recovery through the lens of a nonbinary person in recovery and of a nontraditional family carer, who just happens to also be a registered dietitian! CJ and OJ would love to work with eating disorder professionals on cultivating inclusive treatment for eating disorders in LGBTQ+ communities and are available to discuss training, webinars, and speaking engagements. You can follow them on instagram, facebook, and twitter @thirdwheeled or email them at info@thirdwheeled.com.

This episode's Dear Food letter:

Dear food,

I have always had a tumultuous relationship with you. When I was a child, I was alone a lot with books and used you as my companion when I read. I read a lot! Now when I look back, I really was just in a normal kid-sized body.
 
However I was teased - not in a cruel way but in a loving way by people close to me - my mother, sister and later brother in law all called me chubby. A normal kid would have just laughed this off, but I was a very sensitive child and took things to heart. For a long time as a child I thought I was ugly. As a teenager, I finally understood that I could react to this teasing by controlling how much I ate of you, food and by doing that I got compliments and felt beautiful.
 
Then came the college years and I found I needed to control you even more, food because now I was the one responsible for buying and eating you. I had very low self esteem as a child and did not know how to be around boys. In college, I dated a guy I had a huge crush on, who acted like he was doing me a favor by starting our relationship by saying "ok we can date but you need to lose weight". I bent over backwards for this relationship - did a lot of yo-yo dieting in those years when I would lose a ton of weight by severely restricting you, food, then get into a happy place and forget about dieting, while gaining weight.
 
I finally left this boyfriend and moved to another country. I met my future husband and for a couple of years was very happy and comfortable around you food. I thought I was in heaven because for the first time in my life I had found someone who truly did not see my weight and saw me as a person. I am sure I gained weight in those years but it didn't seem to affect our relationship.
 
However it didn't last long. My (now husband) has been the cruelest critic of all with the most influence over my eating habits and weight because of how close we are. He has told me he's not attracted to my body, we've had big fights and little ones over my weight and my eating and he thinks if I truly loved him I would lose weight for him.
 
Over the last 20 years of us being together, 17 years of marriage, 2 kids and many of life's milestones, I have developed a serious binge eating problem. I hide and eat you food. I no longer feel conformable eating what I want in front of any one, even at work when I am away from the judging eyes of my husband. As soon as I finish one meal, I am thinking or looking for my next one. Even when I'm not hungry, I am still buy and eating you in secret. I no longer have any will power against you food and have not been able to diet or lose weight (even 5 pounds) for the last 10 years.
 
Over the last year as I turned 40, I have been doing different things like meditation, journaling, reading blogs and listening to podcasts to get a better control and understanding of my mind. I have begun to slowly open my mind to the concept that it was never you food, but rather how I thought about myself and my body that was the problem.
 
My question is this - my husband and I have been to therapy a few times and my weight and his issues with it have always come up. He has always been adamant that he is not trying to be cruel but that he is just not attracted to someone who is overweight. A quick search on the internet shows that there are thousands of men out there just like him. I know that my desire to please him may have started me down this path of hiding and eating, but I have now internalized it and taken it to a whole new level that is all my own. Is my only option to leave him and try to rebuild my life? We don't fight about my weight any more but we are also not intimate or loving. We have two kids and he is a great dad - I feel I owe it to them to stay in this relationship. How can I build a better relationship with you food, when I have someone in my life who doesn't believe in this approach?

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Mar 12, 2019

How do other people recover into a world that hasn't recovered from its own eating disorder? How do others binge less and love their body more in this thin obsessed world? Listen to this Love Food episode featuring words from a previous letter writer who wants to share the steps they've taken.

Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds.

This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peaceand Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how. 

thirdwheelEDis a social media advocacy platform that raises awareness of eating disorders in LGBTQ+ communities. Started by a queer couple whose writing addresses the intersectionality of eating disorders and body image, including gender dysphoria; a queer identity; trauma; and gender identity and expression, CJ and OJ provide a dual perspective of eating disorder recovery through the lens of a nonbinary person in recovery and of a nontraditional family carer, who just happens to also be a registered dietitian! CJ and OJ would love to work with eating disorder professionals on cultivating inclusive treatment for eating disorders in LGBTQ+ communities and are available to discuss training, webinars, and speaking engagements. You can follow them on instagram, facebook, and twitter @thirdwheeled or email them at info@thirdwheeled.com.

This episode's Dear Food letter:

Dear Food,

I wrote you back in episode #64, and so much in our relationship has changed since then that I wanted to write you again. I was so terrified when I wrote that letter, so scared of what lay ahead and unsure of whether I could do what needed to be done to recover from a lifetime of disordered eating that had left me at rock bottom.

But I write you today saying that I am on the other side of that mountain, and sometimes I still can’t believe it. It’s not perfect, and never will be. But that is the beauty of life, we will always struggle, and there is beauty and meaning and so much learning in that struggle.

So I wrote you, and Julie and Judith Matz discussed the contents of my letter with such care, kindness and compassion. It meant so much to me, and I felt more validated that my struggle was real, and that I needed help. I ended up finding a wonderful eating disorder therapist in my hometown. She was a huge support during the really hard parts of my recovery, and helped me to challenge my beliefs and made me realize - or at least begin to digest the fact - that my worth
as a woman and a person in this world does not depend on the size of my body. I have to say that when I wrote that first letter, I never thought I’d be able to internalize that as truth. I wanted to share the three pivotal parts of my journey. And my intention here is to try to speak to
those who feel as I did back then: that there was no way I could ever stop dieting, and there was
no chance that I could accept my body if it was not thin.

For those who feel as scared as I did, I want to let them know that it is possible, and there truly is freedom on the other side. It involves taking some big risks, lots of trust in the process, as well as grit, patience and commitment.

  1. The first part of my journey involved letting go of all rules around food - which was
    terrifying - literally like jumping off a cliff and hoping that I'd be okay on the other side. I
    would say for me, this took a few years, and the beginning was so rough. It felt out of
    control and so awful at first, and I just had to keep going and trust that I would be okay.
    Over time, things slowly started to shift, to the point where today, I literally eat whatever I
    want. I no longer question my food choices, and rarely feel regret over what I’ve eaten. I
    crave healthy food a lot more than I ever thought I would, and when I want treats, I don’t
    think twice. I have ice cream and chocolate and cookies in my house all the time, and
    often don’t even think about them. My hunger and fullness signals are so much stronger
    than I ever knew they could be, and it feels so good to see foods that would have once
    sent me over the deep end, and now if I want them I eat them, and if I don’t feel hungry or
    don’t feel like eating them, I just say “meh” and leave them for others to enjoy. I can
    honestly say I never thought I’d have that freedom.
  2. The second part of my journey was body acceptance work, which involved beginning to undo the beliefs that I had about a woman's value, and really questioning why people in my life do value or love me, and eventually realizing that it truly has nothing to do with how I look. That took time - but I continually remind myself that since I stopped dieting and my body changed, not one relationship has been negatively impacted by it. I still have wonderful friends, laugh my head off, have a great marriage, have sex, go to parties, spend time with family. Changing my social media feeds was super helpful with respect to body acceptance -seeing strong, smart and incredible women of all shapes and sizes owning their shit and unapologetically living their truths - that continues to be so helpful and inspiring. Doing this work also got me thinking about how I would want to be remembered after I’m gone. And I asked myself, do I want people to say, "Oh she had such a great body! Such small, tight thighs and she worked out so hard!" I can say with 100% conviction that that is not the legacy I want to leave behind on this earth. I would much rather it be that I truly loved and cared about those around me, and tried to live a life true to who I am and to my values.
  3. The third important part has been self-compassion: This was another critical part, because we can be so cruel to ourselves, and we would never talk to others the way we speak to ourselves. Self-compassion means that in times of trouble and inner conflict (which is basically all the time), that we talk to ourselves as we would speak to someone we love - a good friend, a child. So as I let go of food rules and my body inevitably changed, instead of using words like gross and disgusting when I looked in the mirror, I worked on being more neutral and accepting. Changing that inner dialogue to a much kinder one was a real shift for me and I continue to work on that every day. This doesn’t mean I look in the mirror every day and think I look beautiful. What it means is, I can now look in the mirror and even if I don't like what I see, I can say, "Ok. I don't love how I look today. But...oh well. I am still gonna go to work, hopefully accomplish something productive, have some good talks or laughs with colleagues and friends I cherish, and then come home and share a meal with my family, and love and be loved. How I look today will have no impact on any of those things.”

So there you have it. No more food rules, accepting my body, and practicing self-compassion. So
many big hurdles, so much change. And here I am on the other side of it.
When I wrote you back in episode #64, I never thought I’d be where I am today. I know that this
journey will be lifelong, and I am completely okay with that. I can’t and won’t ever go back to that
way of life, to those values I had internalized that were never really my own, to a world of body
shame and unrealistic beauty standards. I am committed to the ups and downs of the road ahead
of me, now that I know that my beauty and value lie within. I choose freedom, I choose to live my
own truth, and I choose to honour all people and all bodies, including my own.

Sincerely,

Previously Stuck and Scared and Wanting to Charge

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Mar 5, 2019

Are you into a sport while trying to move away from diets? Does your sport demand you to keep your weight low?  push you into a weight class that is not consistent with your body wants to weigh? Have you been told you will be better at your sport while at a lower weight? Listen up because this episode of the Love Food Podcast explores this topic featuring Kristie Amadio from RecoveredLiving.com.

Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds.

This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peaceand Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how. Get 30% off using the coupon code 'lovefood' at check out through the month of February 2019.

thirdwheelEDis a social media advocacy platform that raises awareness of eating disorders in LGBTQ+ communities. Started by a queer couple whose writing addresses the intersectionality of eating disorders and body image, including gender dysphoria; a queer identity; trauma; and gender identity and expression, CJ and OJ provide a dual perspective of eating disorder recovery through the lens of a nonbinary person in recovery and of a nontraditional family carer, who just happens to also be a registered dietitian! CJ and OJ would love to work with eating disorder professionals on cultivating inclusive treatment for eating disorders in LGBTQ+ communities and are available to discuss training, webinars, and speaking engagements. You can follow them on instagram, facebook, and twitter @thirdwheeled or email them at info@thirdwheeled.com.

This episode's Dear Food letter:

Dear food,

I have written and re-written this letter so many times, but we need to talk.

Our relationship has always been rocky, coming from an americanised easter-european family, and after flirting with several eating disorders I thought I had finally broken free from restricted eating.

But then I became a boxer. Not just a lunchtime class, fitness, instagram boxer, but a fighter.

I love boxing, I love fighting and the sense of ultimate conquering I get from coming out on top and training so hard; but my relationship with you has been abused and almost destroyed in my quest to become a champion.

Within the combat industry there is a prevailing, toxic undercurrent of weight loss and diet culture expectations; crystallised in the dangerous ritual that is the weight cut.

Cutting weight is often a combination of severe restriction, forced dehydration and over exercise; and in my fight history I have done all to the extreme. This has caused not only our trust to erode, but also extreme weight cycling by about 20lbs a cut.

I am now trying to engage with intuitive eating and the HAES community after a big scare where my last cut almost landed me in the hospital. I have just started to see a anti-diet dietician who was blown away by the sheer volume of HAES resources I have consumed in my quest for health and pleasurable eating.

I am slowly increasing the amount and variety of you that I consume, but I am still stuck on true eating permission due to my fear around my club and my coach.

I am heavy, food, and I always have been. I am stocky and short for my weight and to make matters worse my family has a history of having great bone density; which probably means that I can never lose as much weight as I need to for the “fight advantage.”

While working overseas I was able to train on the fight team of a female coach. It was a mind blowing experience as far as food freedom and body positivity goes; I felt so free and proud to be my size!

I was allowed to fight very close to my walk-around weight, and even though I was 4 inches shorter than my opponent I felt fit, and fuelled, and strong.

Now back in my home country I am back at my home gym, and although I love and respect my male coach and my almost all male teammates I am so scared and anxious about the thought of gaining weight!

I don’t know if he will let me fight close to my walk around weight, but even if he does I am scared that permission to eat sweets will skyrocket my weight upwards; forcing me to undertake another dangerous weight cut.

I’m scared, food. I wrestle with guilt every time we’re at the table and you are in a regular portion size or contain “bad” carbohydrates.

There are bountiful resources for your average Jane looking to undertake the intuitive eating journey, but there are precious few for serious athletes of size like myself.

I am sick and tired of compulsively moving all day, over training, and under fueling and undernourishing my body so everything hurts when I do the smallest things like climb the stairs or pat my dog.

I’m the fittest and strongest I’ve been in my life, but I’m scared about losing that again just to make a stupid weight I’m not supposed to be.

I want to fully engage with you again, food, and have a healthy relationship where I can fuel my training and have eating competence and satisfaction!

My fear of perceived judgement from my ringmates and coach is holding me back.

How can I feel better about my bigger body in a room of lean athletes? How can I stop comparing myself to my sole female training partner who is as skinny and shredded as they come? How can I stay off the scale and retain my food choice autonomy without feeling guilt towards my coach? And how can I be proud and confident of the amazing things I can do, and my size, despite falling outside the norm of today’s media “athletes?”

Love,

fighting diet culture.

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

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