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The Love Food Podcast

Keto. Paleo. Vegan. Do this not that. None work yet still trying? Now what? Eating is getting too stuffy and complicated. Throw open your windows to allow a new stream of health, wellness, and peace. Time to examine your dusty food belief knick-knacks. What if you could write a letter to food? Pen to paper, you hash out the love/hate relationship and food’s undeserving power. Details go back years, to your first childhood diet trying to fit in. How you relate to food chronicles many of your life’s ups and downs. In this letter, you examine your dusty food beliefs and wonder which go in the trash, are for others, and which remain in your heart. What if you wrote this all down and food wrote you back? This is Love, Food. Food behavior expert and host, Julie Duffy Dillon is rolling up her sleeves to get to the bottom of what is really healthy. This award-winning dietitian seen on TLC’s My Big Fat Fabulous Life has a secret: food is not your enemy and your body is tired of the constant attacks. She will partner with you on your Food Peace™ journey. Show topics include: *emotional eating *intuitive eating *anti-diet *binge eating *orthorexia *body image *eating disorders *dieting *parenting and food *healthy eating *stress eating *food addiction *mindful eating *non diet approaches Pull up a chair to your dusty kitchen table and set it for a meal. Ask food to sit alongside you and chat over coffee. Or a margarita. You have some reconnecting to do. In that connection is Love, Food. In that conversation is health and peace.
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Now displaying: 2020
Nov 17, 2020

Have you heard Intuitive Eating can help you lose weight if you do it right? Blech. NO. I know you've heard that yet it is sooooo off. That advice is steering you in the direction away from Food Peace. I want to help you get back on track. Listen to latest Love Food Podcast for insight.

This episode of the Love Food Podcast is brought to you by Jennifer McGurk's Pursuing Private Practice programs.

Anti-diet dietitians: take business building one step at a time surrounded by community and support. I highly recommend Jennifer's Pursuing Private Practice Programs. Check out her free resources for Love Food Listeners here: PursuingPrivatePractice.com/LoveFood

NEW PODCAST ALERT

Do you host a podcast I need to tell Love Food listeners about? I want to support Black podcasters get the word out about their fat positive show. Send details to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com.

Dear Food:

After a lifetime of eating, bingeing, and restricting, I finally felt like I needed to shift the way we exist in the world together. I've loved you, feared you, needed you, and abused you. We were in need of couples therapy. Luckily, I found a great podcast that was all about you! After binge listening to the Love Food Podcast, I was inspired to explore intuitive eating. For the last month, I've immersed myself into the intuitive eating/body positive culture by reading and investigating different books, blogs, etc. What I learned felt right, and I started to implement the tenets of intuitive eating. We had a great two week honeymoon, where I wasn't anxious about dining out and I allowed myself to eat what I truly craved. I was also vigilant about stopping before I got too full. It was pretty amazing to learn how little I actually needed to feel satisfied. Things were going great until I did something stupid. I stepped on the scale. Yes, I know the experts said you can't diet and practice intuitive eating at the same time. But, my old compulsion got the best of me. So I weighed myself and it turns out I lost a few pounds. Almost effortlessly. And that's where I derailed. Since finding out I've lost some weight, I've been bingeing and restricting again! It's the same thing I would do when I used to diet. Lose a little, and then eat my way back up the scale. What am I doing??? I can't seem to find the intuitive path again. Every day I try, but end up bingeing by the end of the day. How did I get here again? I was feeling so empowered and free just a couple of weeks ago, and now I'm feeling defeated and fat all over again. I somehow turned  intuitive eating into another diet gone wrong. Food, I want to get us on the right path again but I'm not sure how.
Love,
Intuitive Saboteur

SHOW NOTES:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Nov 10, 2020

So you weighed yourself and well, shit, all the rainbows and unicorns from your Intuitive Eating Honeymoon are in the crapper. What the hell happened? Just getting on the scale, seeing a scale, or thinking of stepping on a scale is enough for your brain to connect with your Dieting Trauma. Let's pull up a chair and sift through this on the latest Love Food Podcast episode.

This episode of the Love Food Podcast is brought to you by Jennifer McGurk's Pursuing Private Practice programs.

Anti-diet dietitians: take business building one step at a time surrounded by community and support. I highly recommend Jennifer's Pursuing Private Practice Programs. Check out her free resources for Love Food Listeners here: PursuingPrivatePractice.com/LoveFood

NEW PODCAST ALERT

Do you host a podcast I need to tell Love Food listeners about? I want to support Black podcasters get the word out about their fat positive show. Send details to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com.

Dear Food:

After a lifetime of eating, bingeing, and restricting, I finally felt like I needed to shift the way we exist in the world together. I've loved you, feared you, needed you, and abused you. We were in need of couples therapy. Luckily, I found a great podcast that was all about you! After binge listening to the Love Food Podcast, I was inspired to explore intuitive eating. For the last month, I've immersed myself into the intuitive eating/body positive culture by reading and investigating different books, blogs, etc. What I learned felt right, and I started to implement the tenets of intuitive eating. We had a great two week honeymoon, where I wasn't anxious about dining out and I allowed myself to eat what I truly craved. I was also vigilant about stopping before I got too full. It was pretty amazing to learn how little I actually needed to feel satisfied. Things were going great until I did something stupid. I stepped on the scale. Yes, I know the experts said you can't diet and practice intuitive eating at the same time. But, my old compulsion got the best of me. So I weighed myself and it turns out I lost a few pounds. Almost effortlessly. And that's where I derailed. Since finding out I've lost some weight, I've been bingeing and restricting again! It's the same thing I would do when I used to diet. Lose a little, and then eat my way back up the scale. What am I doing??? I can't seem to find the intuitive path again. Every day I try, but end up bingeing by the end of the day. How did I get here again? I was feeling so empowered and free just a couple of weeks ago, and now I'm feeling defeated and fat all over again. I somehow turned  intuitive eating into another diet gone wrong. Food, I want to get us on the right path again but I'm not sure how.
Love,
Intuitive Saboteur

SHOW NOTES:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Oct 13, 2020

Have you been walking your Food Peace Journey™️ for awhile singing anti-diet praises yet suffer in secret? Do you call yourself body positive yet find yourself fantasizing about losing weight? This is an isolating space yet you are not alone. We have options to explore. Listen as guest expert Kirsten Ackerman describes ways to navigate this part of your Food Peace Journey.

This episode of the Love Food Podcast is brought to you by Jennifer McGurk's Pursuing Private Practice programs.

Anti-diet dietitians: take business building one step at a time surrounded by community and support. I highly recommend Jennifer's Pursuing Private Practice Programs. Check out her free resources for Love Food Listeners here: PursuingPrivatePractice.com/LoveFood

NEW PODCAST ALERT

Do you host a podcast I need to tell Love Food listeners about? I want to support Black podcasters get the word out about their fat positive show. Send details to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com.

Dear Food:

I feel like an imposter with you and with intuitive eating. I feel that I'm not truly anti-diet, truly in recovery for binge eating and anorexia, or that I am really past all the dieting. My relationship with you has been unstable since I was five. I remember being highly aware of my body at such a young age and knowing I was larger than everyone. So I started to diet. And the dieting cycle didn't stop until two years ago when I found intuitive eating. I've worked so hard to unlearn my internalized fatphobia and diet culture that was ingrained in me from such a young age. But everyday I feel like I'm faking it. I tell myself that I don't want to be skinny, but I do. I tell myself I dont want to diet anymore, but I do. I tell myself that calories and carbs count isn't important, but I find myself still glancing at the nutrition facts on food labels. What if I'm not meant for intuitive eating? What if dieting is the only way I can manage my PCOS and my weight? And even as I say this to you, food, I know it's not the truth. I know that dieting is a short term solution and that it will do more harm than good. But sometimes working against the system is so difficult. I constantly have coworkers, friends, and family that are so deep into diet culture that it's easy to get sucked back into it. 
And then of course there's the PCOS. There is so much misinformation about how to manage my symptoms with PCOS and much of the time it's diet related. I want to be fully free with you, food. I want to truly feel free from diet culture and know that I am a good person, regardless of the food I consume. But it's so tough. I know that nutritious foods feel so good in my body and that less nutritious foods exacerbate my PCOS symptoms. And in my mind that means I can only eat "healthy" and that I can't have ice cream if I want it. That the moment I eat something, it will make or break my PCOS management skills. That I will do too much damage that can't be undone. So what do I do, food? How do I feel free with you? Because I am an imposter, a sham, and I'm afraid that someone will realize that I'm not as anti-diet as I make myself out to be. 
Thanks for listening,
The Perfectionist

SHOW NOTES:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Oct 6, 2020

Ever feel like intuitive eating is not for you? Think it is taking way too long and you are still stuck in a cycle of rebellious eating and body hate? We don't think you are doing it wrong. Listen to the latest Love Food Podcast with Intuitive Eating co-author Evelyn Tribole as we sort through next steps.

This episode of the Love Food Podcast is brought to you by Jennifer McGurk's Pursuing Private Practice programs.

Anti-diet dietitians: take business building one step at a time surrounded by community and support. I highly recommend Jennifer's Pursuing Private Practice Programs. Check out her free resources for Love Food Listeners here: PursuingPrivatePractice.com/LoveFood

NEW PODCAST ALERT

Do you host a podcast I need to tell Love Food listeners about? I want to support Black podcasters get the word out about their fat positive show. Send details to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com.

Dear Food:

I've been struggling with you for almost my entire life.  When I was little I remember watching my Dad go on diet after diet and rigidly refusing to go up a pant size.  It looked so miserable but I also wanted to be like him.  I also knew (from what my parents had told me) that I was getting fat.  So when I was 8, I went on my first diet and began counting calories.  Later, around age 15, I began to reject dieting and wanted to relax and eat what I wanted.  This made my parents uncomfortable and eventually they began to mandate that I diet and exercise.  I began to sneak you up to my bedroom and eat you in the middle of the night.  I was riddled with shame, guilt, and self-hatred.  Even when I was outside of my parent's control, I carried their voices of judgment with me and continued dieting throughout most of my adult life.  
Now I'm 31 and I've tried so hard to redefine my relationship with you and my body.  I've seen a counselor and nutritionist who come from an intuitive eating approach.  I was fortunate enough to be part of a 10-week intuitive eating group and I loved it!  But a job change caused me to move away from those resources and now I feel stuck.  I'm heavier than I've ever been in my entire life and I'm so ashamed of my body.  I don't even recognize myself when I look in the mirror.  While the dream of being smaller is still tempting, the thought of dieting repulses me.  I know dieting isn't the answer, but I can't seem to get the hang of intuitive eating.  I feel like I'm making zero progress on my journey to food peace.  
Often I still feel like that rebellious teenager who would overeat (whether it made her feel good or not) just to spite her parents.  I still want to lose weight but I know that intuitive eating isn't suppose to be about that.  How do I stop the incessant desire to be smaller when it's been a part of my life for so long?  
I'm also feeling scared because sometimes listening to my body and choosing to stop eating when I'm full/satisfied or not eat something because my inner wisdom is telling me that I don't truly want it reminds me of the rules and restrictions I lived under for so long.  Intellectually I know that responding to my body and inner wisdom is different than dieting.  But emotionally they sometimes feel the same.  Eventually I end up still engaging in rebellious eating even though I'm not sure what/who I'm rebelling against.  Then I feel like I've fallen off track and give up and shame takes over.  I know this is a diet mentality but I can't seem to shake it!  I'm not sure how to interrupt this cycle and stop thinking of intuitive eating through this dieting lens.  I want to move forward in my food and body peace journey but I'm not sure how to get past this hurtle.  I just want to find peace with you and my body but I'm not sure what the next step should be.  
Love,
Stuck In The Cycle

SHOW NOTES:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

 
Sep 29, 2020

We are concluding the PCOS podcast series with a letter from someone moving along their Food Peace Journey in a different body. Things feel different--they can't cross their legs and breathe differently. Therapist and fashion blogger Shira Rosenbluth joins as a guest expert to share her clinical wisdom and lived experience in her own recovery--both that will give you insight on your path.

This episode of the Love Food Podcast is brought to you by The Eating Disorder Trap book and podcast by Robyn Goldberg.

It is likely you have a close friend, client or loved one who is currently struggling with an eating disorder. Do you feel lost in a deluge of information? Are you unsure who to trust? Let this book be your guide.

Written by an expert with over twenty years of experience in the field of eating disorders, this book will give you the facts in a friendly and easy to read format. Get to know what you are dealing with and how it is taking a toll on your body and quality of life. Get rid of the myths “diet culture” has had you believe. Find out where to go and who to turn to for expert and compassionate care, maximizing your potential for recovery. A useful, inviting and all inclusive guide to eating disorders.

Also be sure to tune in to The Eating Disorder Trap Podcast, an expansive support and resource system for people struggling with eating disorders. This podcast is for clients, clinicians and anyone who wants to be able to support someone who is struggling.

Grab your free download here.

NEW PODCAST ALERT

Be sure to check out, support, and SUBSCRIBE to the Demystifying Diversity Podcast with hosts Daralyse Lyons and AnnaMarie Jones. The trailer has me hooked and can't wait to hear more. I have a feeling you'll love this podcast too.

Dear Food:

I’ve been a listener to this podcast for a while now and it has been a helpful resource as I’ve worked on my own recovery from bingeing and restricting along with repairing my own body image. This year I began teaching at a new school and a teacher on my team has been a big trigger for me. She’s a former gymnast/power lifter and she often talks about her body and fat people in a really disparaging way. It started in the beginning of the year when she wouldn’t eat meals. Then it continued as she would talk about how disgusting she thought her body was. This year she had a miscarriage and later shared her PCOS diagnosis with me and how frustrating it is for her that she gains weight so easily.
Since quarantine has begun she’s been heavily into weight loss and has dropped 25lbs in the 3 months we’ve been in quarantine. I unfollowed her on social media but I still have to attend video calls with her where she tends to bring up her weight loss and about how disgusting she was before in her already thin body. I mentioned my concern to work friends that have worked with her before, and it sounds like she’s lost weight really rapidly before using diet pills and not eating consistently. They did not seem as concerned as I was.
I recognize that I cannot change anything she does, and truthfully I consider her a friend outside of this issue. We’re all on a team together so it would be far more difficult to not get along with her. That said, being around her and having to do video calls with her where all she talks about is weight loss and dieting (even after I’ve  asked her not to) has been really triggering for me. 
At this point, I don’t think she’d be receptive to anything I have to say especially because I do have a fat body and I’m worried she’s going to only hear my concerns as jealousy of her thinness. At one point i asked her to not send me her weight loss updates anymore and she gave me a not so sincere sorry. 
How can I continue my own journey of recovery while I have to be in close contact with someone who hasn’t even begun to realize they might have a problem? Over the summer I can hopefully take a break but I’m still worried about maintaining the friendship I have with my team while also trying to avoid her? I see an eating disorder dietitian and I used to work with an eating disorder therapist, but this has been a new problem. 
I know I don’t need to be thin to be healthy. I’m really proud of the healthy relationship I’ve built with food and permission and I have made strides in finding non-weight related motivation to consistently exercise. I just worry continued exposure to her fat phobia and rapid weight loss will cause me to spiral back only focusing on losing weight. 
Thanks for reading. 
Sincerely,
Don’t Want to Go Back

SHOW NOTES:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

 
Sep 22, 2020

We see you exhausted trying to swim upstream against diet culture. Do you work or live with someone who is hard core into dieting and just won't shut up about it? Have you told them to stop and they keep at it anyway? We made this episode for you. Join this latest episode of the Love Food Podcast with guest expert Laura Burns. We want you to keep swimming!

This episode of the Love Food Podcast is brought to you by The Eating Disorder Trap book and podcast by Robyn Goldberg.

It is likely you have a close friend, client or loved one who is currently struggling with an eating disorder. Do you feel lost in a deluge of information? Are you unsure who to trust? Let this book be your guide.

Written by an expert with over twenty years of experience in the field of eating disorders, this book will give you the facts in a friendly and easy to read format. Get to know what you are dealing with and how it is taking a toll on your body and quality of life. Get rid of the myths “diet culture” has had you believe. Find out where to go and who to turn to for expert and compassionate care, maximizing your potential for recovery. A useful, inviting and all inclusive guide to eating disorders.

Also be sure to tune in to The Eating Disorder Trap Podcast, an expansive support and resource system for people struggling with eating disorders. This podcast is for clients, clinicians and anyone who wants to be able to support someone who is struggling.

Grab your free download here.

NEW PODCAST ALERT

Be sure to check out, support, and SUBSCRIBE to the Demystifying Diversity Podcast with hosts Daralyse Lyons and AnnaMarie Jones. The trailer has me hooked and can't wait to hear more. I have a feeling you'll love this podcast too.

Dear Food:

I’ve been a listener to this podcast for a while now and it has been a helpful resource as I’ve worked on my own recovery from bingeing and restricting along with repairing my own body image. This year I began teaching at a new school and a teacher on my team has been a big trigger for me. She’s a former gymnast/power lifter and she often talks about her body and fat people in a really disparaging way. It started in the beginning of the year when she wouldn’t eat meals. Then it continued as she would talk about how disgusting she thought her body was. This year she had a miscarriage and later shared her PCOS diagnosis with me and how frustrating it is for her that she gains weight so easily.
Since quarantine has begun she’s been heavily into weight loss and has dropped 25lbs in the 3 months we’ve been in quarantine. I unfollowed her on social media but I still have to attend video calls with her where she tends to bring up her weight loss and about how disgusting she was before in her already thin body. I mentioned my concern to work friends that have worked with her before, and it sounds like she’s lost weight really rapidly before using diet pills and not eating consistently. They did not seem as concerned as I was.
I recognize that I cannot change anything she does, and truthfully I consider her a friend outside of this issue. We’re all on a team together so it would be far more difficult to not get along with her. That said, being around her and having to do video calls with her where all she talks about is weight loss and dieting (even after I’ve  asked her not to) has been really triggering for me. 
At this point, I don’t think she’d be receptive to anything I have to say especially because I do have a fat body and I’m worried she’s going to only hear my concerns as jealousy of her thinness. At one point i asked her to not send me her weight loss updates anymore and she gave me a not so sincere sorry. 
How can I continue my own journey of recovery while I have to be in close contact with someone who hasn’t even begun to realize they might have a problem? Over the summer I can hopefully take a break but I’m still worried about maintaining the friendship I have with my team while also trying to avoid her? I see an eating disorder dietitian and I used to work with an eating disorder therapist, but this has been a new problem. 
I know I don’t need to be thin to be healthy. I’m really proud of the healthy relationship I’ve built with food and permission and I have made strides in finding non-weight related motivation to consistently exercise. I just worry continued exposure to her fat phobia and rapid weight loss will cause me to spiral back only focusing on losing weight. 
Thanks for reading. 
Sincerely,
Don’t Want to Go Back

SHOW NOTES:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

 
Sep 15, 2020

Are you coming to terms with the fact that diets don't work for most people--yourself included? And yet every cell in your body feels repulsed with the idea of body acceptance? If you've been riding that diet roller coaster for as long as you can remember and want OFF you have come to the right place. Join us as we learn from guest expert Nina Mills who has new insight to get you on solid ground.

This episode of the Love Food Podcast is brought to you by The Eating Disorder Trap book and podcast by Robyn Goldberg.

It is likely you have a close friend, client or loved one who is currently struggling with an eating disorder. Do you feel lost in a deluge of information? Are you unsure who to trust? Let this book be your guide.

Written by an expert with over twenty years of experience in the field of eating disorders, this book will give you the facts in a friendly and easy to read format. Get to know what you are dealing with and how it is taking a toll on your body and quality of life. Get rid of the myths “diet culture” has had you believe. Find out where to go and who to turn to for expert and compassionate care, maximizing your potential for recovery. A useful, inviting and all inclusive guide to eating disorders.

Also be sure to tune in to The Eating Disorder Trap Podcast, an expansive support and resource system for people struggling with eating disorders. This podcast is for clients, clinicians and anyone who wants to be able to support someone who is struggling.

Grab your free download here.

NEW PODCAST ALERT

Be sure to check out, support, and SUBSCRIBE to the Demystifying Diversity Podcast with hosts Daralyse Lyons and AnnaMarie Jones. The trailer has me hooked and can't wait to hear more. I have a feeling you'll love this podcast too.

Dear Food:

You and I have had a difficult relationship for a very long time. I am only 21 years old, in the middle of working hard to be successful in my college career and other life goals, but I can't ignore my fear and addiction to you that has always followed me like a creeping shadow. I was unhappy with my body from an early age; I recall looking back in my diary and complaining about my size (I was a healthy weight at that time) when I was 7; even back then I attributed my problems to you, though I continued to look forward to the junk food I was allowed to consume at parties or weekend restaurant trips. Puberty hit me like a truck and I grew too quickly, gaining stretch marks all over my thighs, hips and breasts. I blamed you for that too.
As a teen I gradually started putting on the weight, and suffering from mysterious little things that I just thought were a part of being a growing woman. My periods were irregular and heavy; I had borderline high cholesterol and was diagnosed with prediabetes in high school. I had such low energy and craved a nap every single day. I suffered from terrible panic disorder and depression, and was put on medication that I continue to take for almost 6 years now. My acne was so bad that it made my skin itchy and red, and I spent over eight years trying what I have totaled to be at least 10 different topical and medicinal treatments for my problems. Eventually my dermatologist's assistant (a woman) suggested I had PCOS. I did the blood work and consulted with my gynecologist; turns out they were right.
I got the news of my diagnosis over phone call. I was immediately put on birth control to manage my periods, with a promise that none of these medications would affect my steadily rising weight. I sought out the help of my GP multiple times with what to do about my weight gain and other symptoms. I thought I would find a woman who understood what was wrong and how to help me. What I found was someone who just agreed to whatever I suggested I try for myself, whether it be meds, diets, or somewhat suspicious natural treatments that I was so desperate to trust that I tried them anyway.
Needless to say Food, you and I both know none of it worked. I tried restricting my consumption of you to only about 1000 calories a day, for almost two months. I tried intermittent fasting. I hit the gym hard 4-5 times a week, following the instructions of other women online who said they "cured" their PCOS. I tried quitting my birth control even if it meant painful periods. I have even had my family involved in helping me; my sister-in-law recommended the keto diet and running as much as possible; my brother helped me meal plan for weeks. My weight has stayed the highest it's been. I am miserable at parties; seeing my skinny friends eat pizza and chips and soda while still staying slim makes me so upset I want to peel myself out of my own skin if it means I don't have to be in this body. If I enjoy even a little bit of you I feel immediately riddled with guilt and shame. If I indulge a little bit I use it as an excuse to indulge a lot. Then I beat myself up, cry myself to sleep, and get up and hit the diet hard again.
I have finally admitted to myself that none of these diets are working, and it isn't my fault or necessarily yours either. PCOS was not something I got by eating one too many Oreos at sleepovers as a kid; it was genetic, something out of my control. The thing is though, even though part of me knows this to be true, I still hate my body, and I hate what you do to it. I hate that I feel like I can't escape your influence. And I hate that I hate the way that I am.
Will our relationship ever improve? Will I ever find the right combination of you that benefits my body the most? Will I be able to realize the difference between dieting or a final lifestyle change? And lastly, will I ever be happy with you around?
 
Sincerely,
-Struggling for Life 

SHOW NOTES:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

 
Sep 8, 2020

Who hasn't heard of Keto? Wonder if it is the right option for you? Many people with PCOS or another chronic condition like diabetes, migraines, or knee pain are encouraged to give Keto a try. This is not a harmless recommendation. This week's listener letter teases apart what Intuitive Eating means for her after years of Keto. Wonder what to do next? Listen up for more. Want to dive deep into the research and discussion? Click here for my blog post on PCOS + Keto.

This episode of the Love Food Podcast is brought to you by The Eating Disorder Trap book and podcast by Robyn Goldberg.

It is likely you have a close friend, client or loved one who is currently struggling with an eating disorder. Do you feel lost in a deluge of information? Are you unsure who to trust? Let this book be your guide.

Written by an expert with over twenty years of experience in the field of eating disorders, this book will give you the facts in a friendly and easy to read format. Get to know what you are dealing with and how it is taking a toll on your body and quality of life. Get rid of the myths “diet culture” has had you believe. Find out where to go and who to turn to for expert and compassionate care, maximizing your potential for recovery. A useful, inviting and all inclusive guide to eating disorders.

Also be sure to tune in to The Eating Disorder Trap Podcast, an expansive support and resource system for people struggling with eating disorders. This podcast is for clients, clinicians and anyone who wants to be able to support someone who is struggling.

Grab your free download here.

NEW PODCAST ALERT

Be sure to check out, support, and SUBSCRIBE to the Demystifying Diversity Podcast with hosts Daralyse Lyons and AnnaMarie Jones. The trailer has me hooked and can't wait to hear more. I have a feeling you'll love this podcast too.

Dear Food:

After four years of eating keto to manage my PCOS and prevent diabetes, I have started trying intuitive eating, but am honestly a little skeptical that it will work for my situation. One year into keto, I quit counting carbs and have been eating somewhat intuitively since then, even enjoying a full-sugar treat a few times a year (not without consequences to my physical and mental health, but balance, right?) I don’t worry about my weight, and in fact got rid of my scale last year and don’t miss it. 

Keto was all about health for me. In fact, when I saw a new doctor a few months ago, she said I had probably gotten rid of my PCOS by cutting out sugar and I felt pretty good about that. I know it’s not possible to completely get rid of PCOS, but I know I did something right, because I started having a regular cycle for the first time in my life two years ago, thanks to keto and intermittent fasting. I don’t want to undo that and go back to where I was. 

This is why I am approaching intuitive eating with a bit of hesitation, while wanting to be free from “food rules” and not think about food so much. If I could go back to eating how I did 7 years ago without suffering adverse health effects, that would be amazing, but maybe that’s not possible because bodies and metabolisms change. 

I’ve tried eating fruit, beans, and rice in the past week. All of them messed with my blood sugar and made me feel like crap. Do I have to accept the fact that I just can’t get along with a whole category of you, namely grains and sugar, that those are just off-limits for me for the majority of the time? When I think of intuitive eating, I think of “all foods fit”, so I’m feeling a bit confused and stuck. I want to be healthy but I also want us to get along. 

Frustrated Foodie

SHOW NOTES:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Sep 1, 2020

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help. Connect every Tuesday to hear a listener letter describe their woes in a Dear Food letter. Julie Duffy Dillon--seasoned dietitian and food behavior expert--sifts through the letter and sometimes features guests with exceptional insight. Each episode concludes with Food writing back to help you focus on permission, healing, and compassion.

This podcast is not about dieting. It is not about how to lose weight. It combines 20 years of Health at Every Size informed nutrition counseling into a new way that is unapologetically anti-diet and fat positive.

Find out more at JulieDillonRD.com

Jul 1, 2020

As we finish up Season 4, consider what parts of your Food Peace Journey™️ you can unravel and which are not your burden to carry. We must Rally together to free all bodies and no matter what, no one can take away the steps you have taken on your Food Peace Journey so far. Listen to this latest episode and stick around to the end for a special announcement!

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how. 

Do you own a social justice informed and fat positive business? I would love to give you the first opportunity to advertise on the Love Food Podcast. Get all the details here.

Dear Wonderful, Delightful, Complicated Food: 


We’ve had a long relationship of valleys and peaks, and after a long time, I finally feel like we are at a pleasant plateau. I’m no longer caught up in the very restrictive behaviors of anorexia that I experienced when I struggled to control other aspects of my life. I recognize that sometimes, my body needs more of you, and I am usually able to eat without feeling overwhelmed by grief and negative thoughts. My husband is kind, loving, and better than anything I thought possible. 
And yet, I am very aware that plateaus have boundaries, and I am afraid that in this case, the boundary is a cliff, mostly related to aging. I have almost always been in a fat body, but about seven years ago, through severe restriction, I was small enough to shop in straight-sized stores for the first time since I was a freshman in high school. As nice as the compliments were, I was harming myself, and my relationship with you. While my therapist was outstanding in helping me build the strength to leave an abusive situation, he encouraged my weight loss. 
Leaving abuse meant a new career, and while I never planned to be in healthcare, that is where I find myself. I work in long-term care, and every day, I listen to the fatphobic opinions of the medical community. In the last five years, I have regained all the weight I lost, and more. At work, I am always the fattest person in the room. I try to tune out water cooler discussions of their personal diets, but when we discuss patient health, I am overwhelmed. Two patients can have generally equal diagnoses, symptoms, and test results, but if one is fat, their situation is blamed on their weight, and pain is nearly always reduced to “if they would lose X pounds, they wouldn’t be in pain.” I have also had some health setbacks in these recent years. I am now disabled and experience chronic pain. I was finally diagnosed with PCOS after 26 years since my first period, and I had to stop the medication that helped regulate it because of potentially deadly side effects. I know that because of PCOS, my food needs are different from others, and that I experience hunger, fullness, and cravings differently. 
Food, I am afraid that when I am older and need more medical care, they will not be able to see past the numbers on the scale. I am afraid that if I ever need residential health care, my nutrition needs will not be met because I will be served the same thing as everyone else, on their schedules, according to rules made by bureaucrats. We have worked so hard to get to this place, and I am afraid that the medical community is going to destroy that. I fear that they will not care if restriction makes my hair fall out again as long as my waist gets smaller. 
Please help me find ways to stay on good terms with you while advocating for myself within a fatphobic system. 


Sincerely, Allied Health Worker in Need of an Ally

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Jun 23, 2020

Enticed by those slick new wellness products? Attracted to the hopefulness that comes from the idea that you can be happier in your body if just smaller? Recovering from diet culture and/or an eating disorder is so much tougher because the world hasn't yet. Guest expert Robyn Goldberg, author of highly recommended book, The Eating Disorder Trap, weighs in on ways to move forward on your Food Peace Journey.

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

Do you own a social justice informed business? Are you a fat positive business owner? I would like to give you the first opportunity to advertise on the Love Food Podcast. Check out the details here: JulieDillonRD.com/LoveFoodSponsor

Here's this episode's Dear Food letter:

 Dear Food,
Where do I begin? I hate you. I love you. You nourish me, yet you cause me feelings of utter guilt and shame. Do I soundcrazy yet? I have been struggling with an eating disorder for over ten years. It started out innocent-as it always does!Just wanted to lose a few pounds here and there. But then the weight loss became addicting. Consume less? Move more? Theweight melted off. Okay, I thought. This is working. Years down the road I am faced with a number of health problems. Electrolyte imbalances, the bones of an 80 year old woman (I am 27), weakening of my heart muscle, low potassium, and oh did I mention the depression and anxiety? With all of these consequences of my eating disorder, I found myself pushed into saying enough is enough. So, I went to treatment. I left there feeling great. Then I relapsed. I went back to treatment. Here I am weight restored, relatively "healthy" besides the issues I can't reverse. I follow my meal plan every day, listen to my body, eat when I'm hungry, don't over exercise. It is literally a full time job committing to recovery, food. So you can imagine my frustration with the world when I am all of a sudden being bombarded by the latest diet trends EVERYWHERE I LOOK. Wrap yourself skinny! Drink this superfood shake! Don't eat that processed crap! Join my fitness accountability group! Do I need to go on? What is happening? I've spent years in treatment trying to develop a healthy relationship with you food. Trying to let it sink in that you are not BAD. That it's all about balance and getting the nutrients you need to feel your best and yeah, that also means not denying myself a cookie or a damn muffin when I feel like it. I've been trying to be okay with eating how I truly WANT. Not how others think I should. But I can only take so much of this diet stuff. I can't have a conversation with someone, log into my Facebook, go to a coffee shop without calories, weight loss, or some new "get skinny quick"'scheme being thrown into my face. The problem is, the logical part of me who wants to stay in recovery knows that these schemes are bullshit. But the eating disorder loves this. It loves to just kind of tap me on the shoulder sometimes and say "hey..why don't you just order those shakes? It could be a healthy replacement for lunch if you're on the go." Or "hey you really don't get enough exercise these days, why don't you just order that new insane fitness program everyone is raving about?"

My question is, food, how in the world am
I expected to stay on track to a healthy, balanced life when everywhere I turn there is a tempting reason for me to go back to my old ways? I know that trying one of these diets, cleanses, programs will only restrict what I am "allowed" to eat, thus ruining all of the progress I've made. BUT IT IS SO HARD, FOOD!! Are these people right? Are there foods I need to stay away from? It's so hard not to be tempted or convinced when I am feeling so vulnerable. Would trying any of these programs hurt me or can I do it in a way that is healthy?
-Tired (but tempted) of the diet industry

SHOW NOTES:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Jun 16, 2020

Ever list all the things you hate about food? The constant shame, the obsessive thoughts, the pervasive self-doubt, AND you need to eat everyday?? Diet culture gives food a confusing power differential that wedges between us and life. Pull up a chair and hear from guest expert Alex Raymond in this latest Love Food Podcast episode.

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

Do you own a social justice informed business? Are you a fat positive business owner? I would like to give you the first opportunity to advertise on the Love Food Podcast. Check out the details here: JulieDillonRD.com/LoveFoodSponsor

This episode's Dear Food letter:

Dear Food,

10 Things I Hate About Our Relationship.

  1. I hate the attractional pull you have on me no matter my emotional state— happy, sad, scared, anxious, lonely— and how much energy it takes to resist that pull. It’s easy to give in but then you repeatedly tell me how weak I am for giving in! If I do manage to walk away, you leave me feeling drained by all the effort, thoughts, negotiations, and willpower required of me to be strong and walk away. 
  2. I hate how insecure you make me feel when I am around you. The feeling of self-doubt during the analyzing process, checking to see if what I want to eat and what I have available to eat are within my macro allocation goals. I can’t make up my own mind about what to eat anymore!! Some days, I just shut down completely and would rather eat nothing and fast for the day. 
  3. I hate how you make me feel like I am a let down when I do not track your macros and micros and water and fiber constantly, routinely, every single day. Just turn your judgmental eyes away and I am happy to ignore your judgments and ignore this situation. 
  4. I hate how you make me think that my body is being deprived of nutrition. You tell me “I need more” and “get 2 to have one as a backup” when grocery shopping. I have not been in a state of needing to portion my food to prevent starvation. I do have a pantry, fridge, 2 freezers, and storage room full of nutritious foods. Yet still, you speak to me in ways that say “it is still not enough”. 
  5. I hate how, out of nowhere, you carry the delicious smells of good food, both sweets and savories. This constant tease of my senses triggers my thoughts and actions into downward spirals. Yet again, another opportunity for you to lure me into the depths of desire in my senses and leave both my body and mind feeling like I am a complete and utter failure.
  6. I hate how you have deeply ingrained an unspoken rule of following the ‘clean plate club’. Yet, my family did not even follow this rule! Where did you even sneak this idea into my thought patterns?! Is your influence so powerful that I see and hear your voice coming out of my friends’ eyes in their homes? I don’t want to be rude, so I eat it all! 
  7. I hate how I rationalize my mind to accept the portion of treat I have allotted myself. Indulging in a purposeful and intentional allocation of a treat. You, with the deprivation mindset, then counter with “Why not have 2 pieces instead of 1? It’s only a small amount more. You can exercise it off later today.” And then I agree. But that’s not the worst of this situation. It’s the downward spiral of thinking that “I’ve completely gone off the rails today, so why not have another cookie or two or three and some wine?” I want balance and positive lifestyle habits and you are holding me back from forming these more positive habits!  
  8. I hate how you are always the center of attention in all conversations and meetups with friends, coworkers, neighbors, and family. Coffee to start our work day? Potluck for teacher conferences? Unlimited drinks at the neighbor’s holiday party? You say, “bring a healthy item for everyone to share” then when I arrive, your Cheshire Cat smile comes out and you whisper, “well, now that we’re here, you must try the meatballs and the cheese ball and the stuffed dates!” 
  9. I hate how ashamed you make me feel when I am expressing my needs and desires to loved ones in regard to food. My satiety is not the same as anyone else. My cravings are not like anyone else’s. Yet I feel judged and ashamed when expressing my truth to others. So I hide. And hide food. Sneak eating food. Not only is this affecting my relationship with you, but also my relationship with money. I am also hiding purchases in my finances. Oh, you’ve taught me too well. 
  10. Most of all, I truly hate how you leave me utterly speechless at all-inclusive resorts when traveling out of the country! I can eat to my heart’s (and mind’s) content and drink unlimited adult and non-adult beverages and return home a week later weighing LESS than when I left?! Feeling HAPPIER and LIGHTER?! Seriously! This leaves me to wonder, “do YOU take your vacation from harassing my thoughts every time I plan and go on MY vacation out of the United States?” Why must you harass me at home? When can you cut me a break at home? Why don’t you take a vacation and I will stay at home reading by the fireplace? 

SHOW NOTES:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

May 26, 2020

Have you found anti-diet hashtags like intuitive eating, fat positivity, non-diet, and Health at Every Size yet wonder if they can fit for you with diabetes? Yes. You. Can. Listen to the latest Love Food Podcast episode with guest expert Amee Severson.

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

Do you own a social justice informed business? Are you a fat positive business owner? I would like to give you the first opportunity to advertise on the Love Food Podcast. Check out the details here: JulieDillonRD.com/LoveFoodSponsor

This episode's Dear Food letter:

Dear food,

 We’ve had a really rocky relationship. I’ve avoided you like the plague since I was nine. And, I only indulged when I felt faint, but ended up eating everything in the pantry. Then, after college, I was surprised to learn that you were not problem. I’m sorry I ran away for so many years. I was/am fat, and the world told me you were the problem.  So, things have been good lately. But, now, I have diabetes. Between the diabetes, PCOS, and being visibly fat, I feel overwhelmed. My previous ED recovery work feels worthless. I don’t know how to engage with you and not hate you like before. I want to continue healing us. How do I eat intuitively, be fat positive, and manage my diabetes without succumbing to diet culture? Let’s be friends again. Scared and confused 

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

May 19, 2020

Looking for the right way to eat and exercise for your diabetes? Know this: there is no one right way to do diabetes self-care. Glenys Oyston is our guest on this Love Food Podcast episode and during the month of May we are focusing on anti-diet diabetes conversations. Join us!

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

Do you own a social justice informed business? Are you a fat positive business owner? I would like to give you the first opportunity to advertise on the Love Food Podcast. Check out the details here: JulieDillonRD.com/LoveFoodSponsor

This episode's Dear Food letter:

Dear food,

 I can't stop snacking,  and eating fast food. I have diabetes,  and need to make better choices. Lately I'm in a heavy food eating, which leads me to be sleepy and inactive. My diabetes dietitian focuses on counting carbs, and I haven't counted carbs in years. I've given up and given in to the cravings. I've gained weight, watched my blood pressure rise, and my eyes fill with sadness when I look in the mirror and wonder how much over X pounds is on my 5ft frame. I actually feel afraid for my heart and all the extra work it has to do now while my weight continues to rise.  There have been times when I actually enjoyed drinking "green drinks," and having my brain and body feel healthy. Grilling out, experimenting with recipes, yoga, swimming, and such.  I know my food choices today make my vision blurry,  blood sugar high, and cause me to make not so good decisions because my brain isn't as clear when I  "exercise and eat right. " I want a strong body again. I want to find joy in a walk or kayaking or fitting comfortable in a booth having brunch with friends.   How do I get back to that?  How do I get back to wanting the healthy choices, the joy in experimenting with fruits, vegetables,  protein, and fats in recipes? How with limited insurance and temporary employment do I find a good dietitian?  Right now I feel like you food have won. You are keeping me hostage in a body that isn't strong, and  makes me physically uncomfortable,  and feeds my diabetes instead of my spirit. Lost my way & afraid for my life... 

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

May 12, 2020

How do you continue to move toward Food Peace while diagnosed with a medical condition??? Are you one of the many torn with making peace with food while hearing LOUD recommendations to restrict certain foods or pursue weight loss? We want help. Listen to latest Love Food Podcast episode featuring dietitian Lauren Newman.

This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

 
Do you own a social justice informed business? Are you a fat positive business owner? I would like to give you the first opportunity to advertise on the Love Food Podcast. Check out the details here: JulieDillonRD.com/LoveFoodSponsor
This episode's Dear Food letter:
 
Deer food,
It feels like we're stuck in a power struggle, and there's not much peace available in a power struggle.

I work really hard to pay attention to what I need, name it, and get it for my body. It took a long time to get here, with a restrictive eating disorder, PCOS and diabetes diagnosis and treatments (including Food Peace!), and an infinifat body (US32+). I'm proud of what I've learned to do for myself.
But you're always whispering about the sort of lessons I got when I was diagnosed with diabetes, and then when I was pregnant. You whisper threats of death from medical staff and family alike. You whisper about carb counting. You whisper threats of losing my kidneys because I probably need insulin instead of expensive non-insulin drugs that affect my appetite (and apparently not my blood sugar).
You whisper that there's no way to get enough calories for your body if you restrict carbs. You whisper that there's no way to eat that would make each of my physical health issues better. You whisper so much about carb counting as the only way to live with you. It gets echoed everywhere.
 I keep thinking if the power struggle could stop - for real - it would be such a relief. We could be together without one of us pulling on the other. We could have fun, we could forget what others might say about us.

I know I can't quit you. I need you. How can I get you to stop repeating the threats that people say? Is it really possible for us to work together? 

Right now, even with all the knowledge I have, it still feels like I have to choose between ways to be sick.
Love,
Torn

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

May 5, 2020

How long have you been in the cycle of binge eating and self-loathing? This episode's letter writer describes constant guilt and shame as she tries move away from binge eating and manage her diabetes. Do you feel addicted to food and struggle to manage your blood sugar? This episode is made for you.

Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds.

This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

Do you own a social justice informed and fat positive business? I would love to give you the first opportunity to advertise on the Love Food Podcast. Get all the details here.

Dear Food,

I can't remember the last time you and I were together and I didn't feel guilty.  I'm 42 now and that makes me feel really sad.  
Until recently, I hadn't really weighed the consequences of what withholding and restricting  you or what binging with you was doing to my body and ultimately my soul. Years ago, in a group therapy session that I hated going to, I listened to an alcoholic describe what he did with alcohol. After work, he would binge drink beer until he passed out, only to wake up and do it all over again the next night. That's what I did with food.  
About six months ago, I was diagnosed with diabetes.  I burst out crying in my doctors office. She told me gently that it wasn't my fault, but I don't believe her. I have done so many horrible, shameful things with food.   
When I was 17, I went to my family doctor with an article from Cosmo that described PCOS.  "I have this!" I told him confidently.  He laughed me off.  After much pushing and shoving, horrible internal ultrasounds, humiliating facial hair and losing the hair on the top of my head, I was diagnosed at 23.  
When I received the diagnosis, I got on the scale and then the nurse took my pulse. "Ahh, an athlete, your pulse is so low." I smiled and nodded. I was in the midst of a full blown eating disorder and living on Diet Coke, cigarettes and melba toast. For seven years I restricted my food intake - no one knew. I was praised for my appearance, and "willpower". I really wanted to die.  
After a big break up and a big move to a new city and grad school, things began to change. I stopped working out around the clock. I started to eat three meals a day, and snacks on top of that.. Suddenly, food became such a comfort. It helped with the stress of work and studying. It helped with the loneliness and confusion I was feeling. Feeling stuffed felt better than falling in love.  
For ten years I cycled through the binging and self-loathing. I gained weight, I got depressed, I was put on anti-depressants, I gained more weight, I got more depressed.  Sometimes I wonder if the sugar shock I would give myself mimicked the same dopamine surge of my medication. For a long time, I put myself on a roller coaster ride of hormones and sugar crashes, sugar comas, heartburn, indigestion, anxiety attacks, and deep depressions.  Food has been the constant in my life.  
So here we are, lots of years later, trying earnestly to understand why I binge eat and how to stop it. Doctors have sent me to nutritionists who has described how important portion control is. It makes me feel angry.  I feel so ashamed.  I can't tell anyone I'm diabetic.  If I eat keto, my blood sugars stabilize, but nothing about keto feels good to me.  I am so jealous of people who can eat in balance and harmony and not in the extremes. I don't know how to do it.  
I don't know how to feed myself without hurting or denying myself.  I don't know what feels good anymore. I'd like to address my diabetes through my food because I believe it is the source of the issue. I wish my doctors had given me a blood meter when I was prediabetic, so I could have started the learning process then. I wish there was more information about the emotional side of PCOS and more research into emotional eating.  I'm trying to see this as a message my body is sending me. How can I listen now with kind ears and compassion? 

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Mar 31, 2020

Food is fuel and so much more. It is ok that food connects us to those warm fuzzy things in life--friends, family, pleasure, and humanity. Want to make this step on your Food Peace Journey™? Listen here now to the latest Love Food Podcast episode featuring guest expert Elizabeth Armstrong @PCOStherapist.

Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds.

This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

I want to learn more about you! I would love if you could take the 2020 Love Food survey: access it here: JulieDillonRD.com/Survey. Open until March 31, 2020.

Check out my friend Summer Innanen's FREE Body Acceptance Masterclass. You will learn:

  •  The 3 biggest mistakes people make when doing body acceptance work (and why they keep you stuck feeling bad about your body)
  • Her 6-Part Framework for radically changing the way you feel about yourself and believing you are good enough regardless of your body size 
  • Why it is possible for YOU (yes, YOU) to accept your body and feel more confident in who you are.

Learn more about Summer's Masterclass (aff) here: JulieDillonRD.com/FREEmasterclass

This episode's Dear Food letter:

Dear Food,
You have, and always will be, such a big part of life and identity. Growing up in an Indian household, you were everything - we would spend hours preparing delicious meals to eat and share with other people. My mum was an exceptional cook who loved nothing more than to research recipes to try out on me and her friends. Food, you are there in so many of my best childhood memories - going out for ice cream sundaes on the weekend, discovering the magic of baking, and making cheese toast as a midnight snack with my dad. 
But now, at the age of 36, having battled with weight for as long as I can remember, and trying to figure out my PCOS, I realise that our relationship is really complicated. While you have brought me so much joy, you also come with a ton of fear and anxiety for me. I remember calorie counting with my mum in my early teens, being praised for controlling what I ate, and family members commenting on my body whether I had lost or gained weight. Food, I have starved myself of you so many times, and this always results in me punishing myself through binging and exercising. I'm tired of weight loss taking up so much of my headspace. I'm working really hard to get some neutrality on all of this but sometimes, even just noticing a shirt doesn't button up right anymore can set about a heap of negative thoughts.
From 
Working really hard

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Mar 24, 2020

*We recorded this episode before COVID-19 changed our perspectives on so many things. We believe the info is still relevant and hope it brings you peace in this time of uncertainty.*

Most people with a complicated relationship with food are at diet rock bottom yet what if you have never dieted? Sometimes a person may not have dieted yet has experiences with food insecurity that will have a similar effect. This is a valid place on the Food Peace Journey™. Let's discuss Intuitive Eating tools to aid your recovery with guest expert Veronica Garnett @DiasporadicalKitchen on Instagram.

Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds.

This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

I want to learn more about you! I would love if you could take the 2020 Love Food survey: access it here: JulieDillonRD.com/Survey. Open until March 31, 2020.

Do you own a social justice informed business? Are you a fat positive business owner? I would like to give you the first opportunity to advertise on the Love Food Podcast. Check out the details here: JulieDillonRD.com/LoveFoodSponsor

This episode's Dear Food letter:

Deer food,
I’ve struggled with you pretty much all of my life. I never dieted but I have always been a rebel. I hid food, snook it, or just ate too much in general. At least it’s what other people would call too much. I’m also visually impaired. Dieting just seems ridiculous to me especially since I couldn’t read calories or other food label information. Of course I could’ve had someone read it to me but I could never see myself giving up sweets.  or even cutting back. I don’t like fast food. One of the stereotypes of fat people or people in larger bodies is that they eat too much fast food. This wasn’t true for me. My mom loved cooking when she had time but she rarely did. She worked a lot. When she would cook most of the food would go to waste because my brother, sister, and stepdad always wanted fast food. If my mom is at work and there wasn’t any money to be used on fast food my stepdad would cook something but no sides. It never felt enough. Now I can eat chicken with out the side and it’s no big deal but that then I always wanted my mom’s good side dishes. We were also pretty poor. Food insecurity was hard. They were also times were my stepdad sister and sometimes my brother would leave and not tell me. Most the time it would be to go to pick my mom up from work but sometimes it would be to go to other places. If my mom wasn’t with them and they would stop and get food during those times they were either forget about me or get me something that I didn’t wind up liking. I’m kind of a picky eater. My mom would remember to always make sure it was something I liked if they would stop and get fast food. I also went to the Maryland school for the blind during weekdays starting through my fifth grade year. It was pretty good there because there was always good food around or at least I would have peanut butter and bread to make a sandwich. I was disappointed that there were less snacks but at least there were some and I wouldn’t feel like I would have to eat them quick to keep them from being on within the next day or two because of my brothers friends Who would come over. Speaking of my brother, he also bullied me about my weight. That’s when most of the rebellion really amped up. There is a lot more in my childhood and young adult life that led to a bad relationship with food such as the times when I helped my friend out with food when she lost her food stamp card and we live together but they didn’t help me when they found it. I was stuck eating just mashed potatoes and crackers during those times. I digress though for the sake of time.
Just a few months ago I found out about Intuit is eating and health at every size. I came to it because of a book that was recommended to me to deal with the triggering conversations that were happening about my weight. One of those triggering conversations was with my uncle Tom who is one of the nicest and most beautiful people but he still caught up in diet culture because doesn’t want me to diet but he does want me to cut my portions back and he expects that I lose weight. I know the main reason is because he’s afraid of losing me because I’m the only one he trusts. My question to food is how can I begin to incorporate these things when I’ve never really dieted. How do I keep myself from trying to prove to him and others that I am becoming healthier? How do I fit in to these new paradigms? Also, how can I introduce people to these new paradigms when I’m not very articulate with when it comes to remembering definitions and statistics that will prove that these new ways of doing things are valid?
Yours truly:
Partially blind fat friend

Show Notes:

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Mar 17, 2020

I still remember the first time I called a therapist to ask for help. These moments are painful yet so brave. Are you wanting to make peace with food yet stuck on your own? Or, are you meeting with a therapist yet needing more intensive treatment? How do you know what is the best next step? Listen to the latest Love Food Podcast for ideas to help you decide.

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

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Dear Food,
My wish every single morning is to just have one day...one day where I do not eat you, enjoy you, and then panic and get rid of you. It has been 6 years and I have not gone one day without engaging in X behaviors. I am tired. I am sick. I am 36 years old and have no friends, no children of my own, and also have almost no hope that I will be able to stop this terrible cycle. I have osteoporosis, low potassium, anemia, dental problems, low vitamin d, a damaged retina, and many other medical complications from what I do with you everyday. It’s so weird. I love you- flavor, texture, the artistry of flavor combinations, the creativity...but I am terrified of you too. Terrified of what effect you will have on my body...terrified that I will love you so much, that I won’t be able to stop...terrified because I am using you as a distraction to stop thinking about extensive childhood trauma. I am 36 and our relationship is no longer so helpful. I use you for the wrong reasons...I wish I could use you for nourishment and not as a means of unhealthy coping. I am faced with the need to attend treatment but I am so scared. We have to meet 6 times a day. We have to sit together and just “be.” I have to use you to help heal me even though currently I hate me. You will be my medicine and hopefully we can become true friends. 
I am faced with the decision, Food. Do I go? Do I hope that together we can work through this? Can we do it? Do I even matter enough to try? 
I do know that I can’t keep doing this Food. I just can’t. I need to hear from you that you will be there for me in the right ways. That I can learn to exist with you in a healthy way. I am so ashamed, lonely, and really just desperate to have a new relationship with you. I just need a little hope, a little reassurance that things will get better. I can’t see a way out out of this now, but hopefully with your promise that this is possible, I can be more things than I am now.
I can be strong. I can be recovered. I can be a mother. I can be a friend. I live instead of just  existing. I can be proud. 
Sincerely, Wanting Something More

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Mar 16, 2020

Have you heard that we need to eat more veggies, herbs, and stock up on Essential Oils while surviving this pandemic? Don't believe the Wellness Diet hype. The number one thing you can do right now--social distance, wash your hands, and NOT diet.

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

I want to learn more about you! I would love if you could take the 2020 Love Food survey: access it here: JulieDillonRD.com/Survey.

Mary wrote in: What is triggering me right now and threatening to cause me to grab hold of the "wellness" diet again (which led to orthorexia for me) are the emails, newsletter, posts, about how important it is to eat healthfully right now. For instance, up the "super greens" like kale and chard and lettuces and fruits and veggies. This is a catch 22. On the one had we are being told to eat fresh fruits and veggies and greens and on the other hand we are told to avoid people, to self-isolate. I can't keep my greens longer than a few days nor do I have a garden or live in an area that has fruits and vegetables available at outside markets all year long, so the only way to get the is to do what they say not to do: go to grocery stores. I know I can just unsubscribe and not read, but there is a tiny part of me that is saying, "but what if they are right" and the HAES and intuitive eating people are wrong? Again, another part of my disordered eating thinking.
Thank you!
Mary

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

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Mar 15, 2020

Have you been feeling more anxious, fearful, powerless? Me too. You don't have to ignore these feelings because they can inform you and me. You are already braver then you think. I hope this episode helps you feel more powerful for the weeks ahead.

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

I want to learn more about you! I would love if you could take the 2020 Love Food survey: access it here: JulieDillonRD.com/Survey.

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Mar 10, 2020

Do you feel possessed at times with the chaos that a binge brings? Have you tried everything to change your eating behavior yet feel addicted?? This episode's letter writer is from a concerned family member worried about their parent's on and off relationship with food. I have a feel you can relate. Listen here now to hear all the details and a way through.

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

Take the Love Food Survey: click here.

Dear Food,

I know you and I still have work to do, but I'm writing today to talk to you about your relationship with my dad (hope you don't mind!). He knows so much about you, and he's tried so many diets and plans, but he just can't stick with eating in a healthy way. He's had a number of health problems related to his weight and diet, and has to take about a dozen prescription pills a day to address his GI issues. He says he wants to change, and wants to take better care of himself - but for years now, he and our family have watched helplessly as the motivation wanes after a week or two, disappears for months, and then shows back up full-force. It's been exhausting for everyone to see this cycle over and over again. He even has the self-awareness to see what works for him, what doesn't, why he might be giving up, what psycho-emotional factors are at play - but all that self-reflection doesn't turn into action (and he knows that, too!) He's even joked that he feels "possessed" when he binges on sugar and snacks, or that his brain and his tongue aren't communicating, and that "it's time to go back on that plan again."He and the rest of us thought that after he had to be hospitalized for the GI issue, it would be enough motivation - but he went back to old habits quickly. We've tried cooking together, affirmations, journaling, listing all the great things that will come with healthy eating. He's seen nutritionists and psychologists, he's tried meditating and going to the gym. But even with the support, motivation, experts, and health care professionals, he hasn't been able to make the changes and progress he wants. Now, his first grandchild is on the way. We love him, we don't want to be intrusive - he's asked for us to help. But we feel powerless, and defeated that we can't help. Food - is it time for him (and us?) to work with a professional? How do we know where to start, and what kind of specialist to look for? He hasn't been diagnosed with an eating disorder - will he need a doctor referral? Will this be another expense and ray of hope that goes nowhere? He wants to heal, and we want to see him love himself as much as we love him.

Love, Concerned Daughter

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Mar 4, 2020

Have you been feeling more anxious, fearful, powerless? Me too. I am curious about how this is affecting our relationship with food. I hope this gives you pause and comfort on the road ahead.

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

I want to learn more about you! I would love if you could take the 2020 Love Food survey: access it here: JulieDillonRD.com/Survey.

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Mar 3, 2020

What is it like to eat with others on your Food Peace™ journey? How do you experience the talk about bodies or exercise or where to go to lunch? Do you find yourself comparing yourself to other people and feeling like a failure in comparison? Is this keeping you stuck? Let's discuss in this week's Love Food Podcast with guest Renee Hamati @SensiblyYou on Instagram.

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

I want to learn more about you! I would love if you could take the 2020 Love Food survey: access it here: JulieDillonRD.com/Survey.

This episode's Dear Food letter:

Dear Food,

I have struggled to write this letter for a while now as I couldn’t really think of a good way to organize what went all wrong over the past couple of years.

You and I are definitely on better terms by now and I am glad about that. Yet more often than I want to, my past keeps creeping up the back of my head again. 

Let me take you back a little, to a time when food had been effortless and easy, enjoyable and pleasurable. I remember that I have always loved you and didn’t really think of any part of you as good or bad. I loved chocolate as much as I loved my broccoli. I had no hard time stopping whenever I was full nor did I give myself a hard time when I overate on occasion. I just shrugged it off and moved on. 

I have always been slim since I was a kid and to be honest, I never worried about how my body looked. I loved it for being able to move, to dance, to breathe. 

For a little further explanation of the following let me tell you that I have 2 sisters. A twin and an older sister. 

We spent much time together as 3 even though my older sister has always been busy with being a good student. Nonetheless we had a good relationship … until over time she grew distant and cold, irritated for seemingly no reason. We noticed her eating behavior changing. Long story short, everything ended with her being so deep into Anorexia that she had to be force-fed in the recovery clinic. Even after her stay in the clinic, she struggled for years and her eating behavior did not change as much with the difference of her maintaining a weight that wouldn’t get her medical treatment again. 

I thought this time had been shocking enough to our family and really tore a hole that lingered like a dark cloud and you should know better but then I noticed my twin starting with a similar eating behavior. She developed a fully grown bulimic disorder. Needless to say that this shook our family to the very core. The atmosphere was filled with distrust, control, unspoken fear and questions over questions. I started to ask myself how something so pleasurable and beautiful could have so much power over a human being, especially in the obvious face of the damage an eating disorder could cause. 

It has been years from now since my twin developed her eating disorder and even though things are not as extreme anymore in terms of purging, I often find her resorting to these old patterns whenever things are getting emotionally difficult and straining. She does not starve herself anymore but her control mechanisms shifted into quite an unhealthy relationship to workouts, tracking and rigid rules. 

This was by the time we started to go to University in the same city. I never really noticed that I had gained quite some weight until I saw her figure changing to a very lean and muscular build and me being rather curvy in comparison. Not that I cared by the time, I was still happy with myself but wanted to spend more time with her as she was elbows deep into working out and eating clean. So one of the only ways to reconnect with her was working out together. It worked! We spent much more time together and I also noticed myself changing in the process. It was nice to see my body getting leaner and I wanted to “support” the process by changing my – admittedly not very healthy – eating habits that came with university. 

I slowly became obsessed with calories, how many I could eat, how much I needed to work out, which foods were good and which foods weren’t. I felt so ashamed of myself when I discovered how seemingly “unhealthy” I had been eating when all I really did was enjoying good food whenever I wanted. 

I started to demonize certain foods, restricted and cut out sugars, junk-food and even eventually certain food groups like carbs. Hell, I was so afraid to have rice with any of my other foods because in my eyes it was way too calorific. 

I lost much weight until I was at my desired size but what price did I pay? 

I missed out on so much fun as I didn’t allow myself to indulge in delicious foods on social events, I annoyed everyone around me with my clean eating, it severely affected my relationship and friendships, took so much of my time and energy until I felt run-down and so so exhausted. 

I started to discover intuitive eating and was fascinated with it from the very beginning although it was hard for me to let go of my old diet behavior.

I now have a better relationship with you and occasionally feel like this could really work but then I see my sister (we live together) munching on her salad or not eating until 3 in the afternoon. I see her freaking out over not being able to go to the gym or doing heavy HIIT for hours because she allowed herself to enjoy a night out the night before. And suddenly the cookie in my hand feels like it would add up 100 pounds to my hips, just like I thought back then. She has a very muscular build by now and gets a ton of compliments for it and sometimes if I am honest I feel jealous of it and wonder if it is wrong to have a softer body. 

I really try to not let food dictate my life anymore but I cannot help myself when a disordered eating behavior is so very close to you, emotionally and physically. How can I manage to get rid of the little voice telling me that I am not beautiful if I am not muscular like her? How can I better set boundaries for myself in terms of her eating behavior and mine? How do I deal with the struggle of my body gaining weight and me still finding myself desiring to lose it again as I have always been slim and somehow cannot deal with the thought of gaining more.

I really wanna move away from food thoughts dictating my day and my still present diet mentality. I want to focus on loving myself and doing what I love. Still, it is so hard sometimes … 

Please help me reconnect with you in a healthy way.

Love, 

Confused and frustrated

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Feb 28, 2020

How do you push yourself to exercise more with PCOS? Well, I don't think you should--I think your body is trying to tell you something. Listen up to hear what I have to say about movement and PCOS.

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how. Use the coupon code 'lovefood' at check out for 30% off.

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