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The Love Food Podcast

Keto. Paleo. Vegan. Do this not that. None work yet still trying? Now what? Eating is getting too stuffy and complicated. Throw open your windows to allow a new stream of health, wellness, and peace. Time to examine your dusty food belief knick-knacks. What if you could write a letter to food? Pen to paper, you hash out the love/hate relationship and food’s undeserving power. Details go back years, to your first childhood diet trying to fit in. How you relate to food chronicles many of your life’s ups and downs. In this letter, you examine your dusty food beliefs and wonder which go in the trash, are for others, and which remain in your heart. What if you wrote this all down and food wrote you back? This is Love, Food. Food behavior expert and host, Julie Duffy Dillon is rolling up her sleeves to get to the bottom of what is really healthy. This award-winning dietitian seen on TLC’s My Big Fat Fabulous Life has a secret: food is not your enemy and your body is tired of the constant attacks. She will partner with you on your Food Peace™ journey. Show topics include: *emotional eating *intuitive eating *anti-diet *binge eating *orthorexia *body image *eating disorders *dieting *parenting and food *healthy eating *stress eating *food addiction *mindful eating *non diet approaches Pull up a chair to your dusty kitchen table and set it for a meal. Ask food to sit alongside you and chat over coffee. Or a margarita. You have some reconnecting to do. In that connection is Love, Food. In that conversation is health and peace.
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Now displaying: April, 2021
Apr 27, 2021

Everyone is welcome on the Food Peace Journey and when I say everyone I include those of you with diabetes. Public opinion likes to eliminate intuitive eating with a diabetes diagnosis yet what if moving away from diets promotes health and better blood sugars? Listen up for this week's episode from someone just diagnosed with diabetes.

Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds.

This episode of The Love Food Podcast is brought to you by my Pop Up PCOS Podcast---Live only through the month of April.

It focuses on how to live with and manage PCOS cravings. Get access to this private podcast here.

Thank you for you supporting the Love Food Podcast!

Dear Food

We've never been friends, you and I. You lurked in the center of a labyrinth of Rules, the monster but also the prize. The Rules were supposed to guarantee good health as evidenced by a good body, and for "good" read "thin." But I didn't have a thin body. I had a big body. A fat body. A wrong body. A must-be-unhealthy body. A body that required regulation according to external rules since I was obviously incapable of regulating myself. The only thing about my body that mattered was my weight and my weight was always too much.

You were rarely flavor but always components: sugar, protein, fat, carbs. You came only at meals and meals happened only at assigned times. Hunger that happened outside those times wasn’t real. My body lies because I’m fat.

I enjoyed swimming and bicycling and roller skating, but movement for fun was worthless. Movement meant losing weight. Movement was punishment for being fat, and punishment had to hurt. I quit all the activities I liked and convinced myself they were never fun to begin with.

You were my enemy, food. You were the cause of everything that went wrong. Unless I got smaller I was going to die, and soon. If only I could get my food right then my body would become right, become thin, and then I could start my life. 

Instead of living, I spent a lifetime avoiding you. My list of acceptable foods grew shorter and shorter. The amounts I allowed grew smaller and smaller. Meanwhile, my body got bigger and bigger.

Eventually, I discovered HAES and intuitive eating, and tried to repair my damaged relationship with you and my body. I ditched the constant analysis. It never made me feel good. I tried to think of you in terms of taste and flavor. If I ate enough of you overall, listened to and honored my body, everything would sort out. I felt better, physically and mentally. I am still fat and working on being ok with that. Because HAES, right?

But.

There's always a "but," isn't there?

Barely a year after finding what felt like salvation, I developed diabetes.

I'm devastated. I'm angry. I feel betrayed. No more HAES; I don't have health. Goodbye intuitive eating; my fat body lies. No more thinking about you in terms of flavors and taste and what sounds good. Back to The Rules. You are components, not flavors. Exercise and movement isn't for fun, it's to use up blood sugars. 

I was wrong about my body and everyone else was right. I must accept reality and impose Rules to discipline my body and make it good. And by good, they mean thin. They replaced numbers on the scale and clothes sizes with A1c and fasting blood glucose. If my numbers aren’t good enough I will die, for real this time.

I’m afraid to buy a glucose meter. I would use it as a scourge, not as a tool. Hungry? No eating unless the meter says so. Blood sugar rises? Never eat that again. I know where this story ends. Surviving on black coffee and cabbage while still being the object lesson for eating too much cake. I've been there before. I don't want to live there again. I'm back to obsessing about you and trying to make our relationship Stepford Wives perfect and I'm miserable. 

Engaging the topics of diet and exercise at all feels like grabbing a live wire with both hands. Yet I'm told I must grab and hold tightly or I will die. I want to let go. But I want to take care of my body too.

How do I balance the requirement to dissect everything I eat into its component parts and assemble them into perfect plates without ending up back where I started? I hear the siren call and it is hard to resist, especially with doctors rowing my boat that direction.

Please help me find a better way.

Signed,

Frenemies (she/they)

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Apr 20, 2021

Ever feel like you are doing this Food Peace Journey incorrectly? With every binge you may connect with despair and failure. What if your journey was proof of your bravery? What if you gently reconsidered your judgement with curiosity? What then? Guest expert Fiona Sutherland, author of the new book, Vitamin A to Z, dishes on ways to move through.

Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds.

This episode of The Love Food Podcast is brought to you by my Pop Up PCOS Podcast---Live only through the month of April.

It focuses on how to live with and manage PCOS cravings. Get access to this private podcast here.

Thank you for you supporting the Love Food Podcast!

Dear Food,The high school version of me would have been the last person on this Earth to ever believe that my relationship with you would end up causing me so much heartache and pain.

I was fine until college. Backtracking to childhood, I always loved you. I was a foodie, never overthought and wasn't obsessed with the idea of what I would eat next. Food was wonderful, especially "treats" or "junk-food" type items that I didn't get to eat often. I know there were times when my eyes were bigger than my stomach, but maybe this is a thing that many young kids also experience?

High school was normal. I was active playing a sport that I loved, busy with school, and spending time with family and friends. Senior year, I found myself with more freedom than ever. A lot of it was spent watching tv or cooking and eating with friends.

Then came college. After a particularly sad and confusing breakup with a boy and betrayal by a friend, my college friend group disintegrated. In retrospect, I think I may have retreated into TV and snacks, and there was no one to tell me to do differently. Then, during Thanksgiving break, I realized that I had been too free with you, food, and my "cute little body" was quickly becoming something I was ashamed of and disgusted by.

I'd never had anything but a small body and lived in a family of small people. I decided I would pay more attention to what and how much I was eating. I figured this would help get myself under control. And from the moment I became aware of your presence and your power in my life, things really have never been the same since.

Fast forward through five months of increasingly difficult and dreadful exercise regimens and an increasingly restricted intake of food, I left school early to move home and enter outpatient treatment.

My junior year, I finally transferred into XYZ college. I was ecstatic, but the restriction started almost right away. This time, though, my body was far more resistant to restriction, and it was increasingly difficult to not give in and binge. I returned home after only 3 months, and didn't return to school until the next summer.

Now, my 4th year of college is almost over. That means I've been binging for a year now. It's hard to believe that I ever was able to restrict at all, because binging is such an everyday part of my life now. Over these past years, I have had consistent therapy, and have also met with dietitians, but it seems like nothing is able to help me. In fact, the binging seems like it's getting worse and worse – in the past two months alone, I have gained X pounds.

I think I've lost hope in ever being normal with food or body image. I feel so abnormal and wrong. In recovery, binging was always my biggest fear, and now it's my constant reality. I have all the tools and resources I should need to help myself and change, but I'm still doing this.

How did we get this far?!

Love,

Secretly Broken

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Apr 13, 2021

The journey can feel isolating at times so communicating with your partner, family, and friends will support your path toward Food Peace. But how does one do this? You're in for a treat: guest expert and therapist Ashlee Bennett, author of the upcoming book, The Art of Body Acceptance, shares her insight.

Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds.

This episode of The Love Food Podcast is brought to you by my Pop Up PCOS Podcast---Live only through the month of April.

It focuses on how to live with and manage PCOS cravings. Get access to this private podcast here.

Thank you for you supporting the Love Food Podcast!

Dear Food,
Wow, where to begin. I guess would be first telling the story of how you’ve been such a huge part of my life. My first memory of you taking over my head was when I was 9, wanting desperately for my prepubescent body to be flat like my friends, restricting my food because I thought that would make me better, but then bingeing on sleeves of cookies before school and flushing down the evidence so my parents wouldn’t see. And thus, what feels like a lifetime of disordered eating began. Restricting, binging, purging, I’ve tried it all, from the age of 9-22. And food, I gotta tell ya, I love you just as much as I hate you. I mean, you taste damn good! But I am obsessed with thinking of you, and how you affect my body and my mind. Now, everyday I work so hard to eat a balanced three meals, let myself indulge here and again all while you’re constantly on my mind. Add in a diagnosis of PCOS and a constant weight gain even though i eat healthier than pretty much anyone i know? This is hard. Something else that is hard- communicating all of this to my partner. My incredibly loving and supportive partner. The smallest phrase of “wow you ate that fast!” Or “I need a salad tomorrow after the pizza we ate today” can throw me off the handle. The shame placement on you, food, means so little to others but so much to me. The diagnosis of PCOS makes me feel so out of control of my body that i have to work everyday to like (notice I didn’t say love.) his offering of help sometimes feel like an intrusion on my own efforts. How do I keep my ED recovery strong, my nutrition as a top priority without grieving my PCOS diagnosis and symptoms, my ability to eat a huge juicy burger, and communicate all of this funk to my partner without making him feel like he’s harming me. It feels like it’s all just too much. My eating disorder history is mine, not his... but how can he best support me through this? Oh and food - did I mention that I hate and love you?
Sincerely,
Craving Partner Support

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Apr 6, 2021

This episode is for those of you who have been on your Food Peace Journey for awhile. You've shifted the morality of health and radically rejected diets. But, there's a but. Do you find yourself yearning for your smaller body and wonder how all of that desire fits? Let's examine how your brain is processing all this with guest expert Stephanie Dodier.

Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds.

This episode of The Love Food Podcast is brought to you by my Pop Up PCOS Podcast---Live only through the month of April.

It focuses on how to live with and manage PCOS cravings. Get access to this private podcast here.

Thank you for you supporting the Love Food Podcast!

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

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